Doorbell rings. ‘Hell—’ You’ve already buzzed them in (who cares?). You rush down the stairs, mouth foaming.

You stop as you reach a woman wearing red. She’s holding a rose! A late Valentines gift: I knew the postman had lost them! You go in for a kiss, but she recoils as hard as Femke did before Christmas. ‘I’m here on behalf of the Democratic Party,’ she gasps, thrusting the rose into your hands, which gradually droops along with your Devil’s Walkingstick. She then hands you a card entitled STEMPAS from the City Hall. Great. What the floater have I done now?

Don’t worry. You haven’t done anything. In fact, you should only be worried if you haven’t received one of these cards and are an EU citizen, as these are Voting Cards. Yes. The EU allows Internationals to vote in local elections, too. And so they should! Internationals have become a huge part of this city, and it’s imperative that they work together with Groninger politicians to solve important issues such as irrational road systems and illogical retail opening hours on Sundays.

Just think of the things that could be improved with your precious International vote, things that the Dutch contingency would never think of. I can see the headlines on an unnecessarily large paper from the 1950s now:

‘Newly Elected Local Backbencher Introduces Most Popular Policy of the Decade by Fulfilling Promises Made to Loyal International Support and Re-opens Palm Beach.’

Okay, so re-opening a wormhole into a dirtier version of the sixth dimension is unlikely, but it’s important that you all know what you’re voting for (since it’s mostly in Dutch), and how to vote.

Who to vote for?

Of course, the UK can’t endorse a particular political party, and, as a representative (accidental child) of the UK I could not possibly reveal which party I will vote for…

But if I were an International (which I am), and studied at RUG (which I do), I would probably want to vote for someone who would fight to provide better housing opportunities for Internationals, further internationally-aware municipal facilities, and a more culturally-crafted city that invests in foreign students in general (which I will), such as—

I’m afraid that I just can’t say, otherwise I’d be outcast as a ‘Dan-one-number-short-of-summoning-the-beast…’

Where can you vote?

I read the instructions to my housemate. U kunt m— ‘Excuse me?!’ he interrupted, ‘just because I didn’t wash up my pans!’ I continued, my forgotten frustration over their lack of hygiene rekindled…

You can (u kunt) vote at your local polling station from 07:30h until 21h on the 19th March. Just take it to the station along with your passport, and get ticking!